Skeletons in the closet

Everyone of us have skeletons in the closet and at times imaginary friends, no matter how much we want to deny it publically.  It is the part of life we cherish, we are most connected to our inner self, we felt most understood, and we can be who we really want to be….  and very often we wish we can share it with our love ones, our parents, our partners but we can’t…  for the very obvious reason…  they are skeletons…

Two is Better than One

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
“Hey, you know, this could be something”
‘Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I’m left with nothingAnd I’m thinking…
I can’t live without you
‘Cause, baby, two is better than one
There’s so much time, to figure out the rest of my life

So maybe it’s true, that I can’t live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
‘Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything’s okay
I’m finally now, believing

Maybe it’s true, that I can’t live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone

But I’ll figure it out, with all that’s said and done
Two is better than one

~ Boys Like Girls

Run Forrest, Run

How often do we run away from reality… run away from truth, run away from the main issue… and hide behind our career, wrong relationships, material pursued, kids, games, DVDs, meaningless online surfing, blank activities…

How often do we say this little prayer in the darkest stormy night in our soul, ‘Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here.’ 

How often did we live on the advise Jenny gave to Forrest… ‘If you’re ever in trouble, don’t be brave. You just run.’

I began to realized that while I love my career and enjoy what I do for the last 11 years, that has been my great hiding place… the place I find refuge from other disappointment in life… to avoid the confrontations with an ex- of our mis-match for 6 years, to avoid possible conflict with my parents by coming home late, to shut off my frustrations with others and with myself.  The more I get used to running, the more I did it….  it’s like one quotation in ‘Forrest Gump’…

‘That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going..’.

It’s time to stop running, live life and accept the fact that, ‘Life was like a box of Chocolate.. you never knew what you gonna get’.

Garcinia Mangostana

I love Garcinia Mangostana, or more commonly known as Mangosteen… it is also regards as the Queen of all fruits.  

As it is regarded… it soft pure white flesh, fragrant with a tinge of sweetness, protected with rich maroon red skin… just like a beautiful gentle queen covered with majestic deep-purple robes… and the rosette at the apex… is liken a stately crown on her smooth shining hair.

Mangosteen is more than just beauty.  It have been investigated for biological properties including antioxidant, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, and anticancer activities…

We are like that… in our very simple way, we are beautiful and gifted in our very special way….  therefore, live beautifully. 

Fulfilled..

After 11 years of being in a career that is in my area of passions and gifting, today I am humbled by the experience that while I might find fulfillment through my job and grateful for the many blessings that comes with it.. these are only temporary.

I came to realized that, life is beyond me and ensuring I live fulfilled as individual. I realized that we are created to stay connected with one another no matter how hard it might be. I realized that two is definitely better than one. I realized that only in God we find deep peace and everlasting fulfillment..

Live in the moment

As we grow with more responsibilities and life evolved in a much faster speed, I found myself living in an increasing ‘rush’ syndrome.  My brain is constantly working ahead of my body… my heart feels the adrenaline rush all the time. As a results, my body turn battlefield last week. 

Someone taught me the meaning and how to ‘live in the moment‘ over the weekend… to experience every breath we take, every move we make, from the moment we wake up.  Be in the moment when we are brushing our teeth, clearing our bowel, having our breakfast, driving to work, writing that proposals, meeting clients, facing inefficiency of public sector…  an act of acknowledging the moment we are in.

I began to realized that by living in the moment, I am more aware of my body, my feelings, my souls, my surrounding, people around me. I found myself more sensitive towards the needs of others and mine too.  In turns, am began to feel calmer, more collected, and conserved more energy through the day.  It makes me feel more alive.

Living in the moment takes the excruciating pain in my heart away too..

Tough

It’s tough to stay tough sometimes…

Finale…

It was almost perfect in every little way…

The gentle touch, the quiet whisper and the assuring voice.

It brings cheer into my life, yet tears through many nights.

I knew it all along, it is not mine to own.

Thus this chapter is written… the final finale…

~by stzegarden~

Angels in my life….

I always believe deep down inside everyone of us, we are angels and we have angels around us…

Angles look out for each another, angles help in time of needs, angle heal, nurture and bring the best out of each others.   Angels inspires and put smiles back to faces of sadness.  Angels make this world a better place.

I have been blessed with many angels in my life… since the day when I was conceived… protected, provided, nurtured and cared for in the best way my parents know how. 

My dad is an angel of few words but greatly devoted to the family with little possessions under his own name… he gave it all to us.  He is well read, a man of deep thoughts and appreciation towards simplicity of life.  Patience and peace is written over all his name.  In his quiet being, he taught me many golden principles of life.

Of the many wonderful gifts he has for me all these years, the most significant gifts are 2 books that inspires me and set me right from early years till today.  First was the Subconscious Mind, a book that related to my unfounded passion to human potential then at the age of 18.  The other, Financial Freedom, on the day of my graduations.  Till this day, I wondered what inspires him to give these books to me as these books were not in his areas of knowledge nor practise.  I can only call this… angelic blessing.

My mom is an angel of providence, and wisdom.  She might not have a degree due to lack of opportunity back then, but she helds very decent conversations with me and my sister in regards to the world of work trend, business and politics.  She singlehandedly provides us a beautiful place of our own in PJ.  I also call her the ‘Google-mom’ for she acquires a lot more knowledge and wisdom than me vie Google, including way towards healthy living with fruits enzyme.

Both my sister and I has little to say with one another.  But she spirit of determinations, strong will and discipline has always been my pillar of strengths.  Through my teenage years, watching her diligent in seeking to understand formulas instead of memorizing the rules inspires me to seek understanding than just passing exams.  She inspires me to excel in my area of passion.

As I journey through my life, I have many angels crossed path.  People who build me up consciously, unconsciously… people who pull me up when I was down, people who call me back when I drifted away, people who cared for me when I was sick.

I am very grateful to God and celebrates the many angels in my life….

Battlefield

My body turned into a battlefield in the last few days.  There is a major war between the bacteria and white blood cells.  As the result, I have to suffered the burn (high fever) and pain (severe headache). 

Hemmm… if only I can get them out to fight else where.